I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
