get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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