I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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