we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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