soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Randomize
