where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
