Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Randomize
