I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
