god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Can i not drive my cunt home
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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