Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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