Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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