I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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