Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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