I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Randomize
