It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
