At least make sure they are 18
Why
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
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