i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
