dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
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i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
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The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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