Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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