Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
