Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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