I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
