I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
there is another microwave in the elevator.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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