You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
