Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
