My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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