She said her name was "party"
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize