p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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