Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
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