I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
