I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Randomize
