Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
She bit a glass in half.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
