Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
party gras won. party gras always wins.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
