Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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