everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
im calling her cock vulture from now on
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
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