So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
