Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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