just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
