No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
