This girl is more easily done than said...
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
