I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
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