Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Randomize
