she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
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