What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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