Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
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