Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
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I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
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I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
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