I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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