She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
why do cheetos always look like penises
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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