Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
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