I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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