Need sex. Gaining weight.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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