also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Randomize
