I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
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