D3 body, D1 cock
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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