im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
