Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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