How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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