How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
