Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
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