She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
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