Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
NoShamevember. You game?
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
