have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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