I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
this is an emotional support booty call
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Randomize
