just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Randomize
