Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
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