so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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