A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
