Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I puked a lego.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
